I don’t really believe in regrets or reliving the past but I do believe in reflecting on things that I’ve done and figure out whether or not I could have improved. So, that got me thinking if I had to do it all over again, what would I do differently as a new mum in the first few weeks?
1. Rested. Definitely and 100% over, I was literally up and about after day 3. I didn’t need to be but I was. And I feel as if this is the reason I took so long to heal up. I am almost one postpartum and sometimes I still feel sore. I was back to doing everyday household chores way too soon and it wasn’t necessary. In our culture, the woman are told to not walk around for at least 10 days and some up to 40 days. When I look back I wish I took this custom seriously and did just that. When you’re a new mum, you only get to be a new mum for a very short time and you should spend this time relaxing.
2. Gave hubby more responsibility. He was the youngest in his family and wasn’t use to having babies around unlike me – who is the eldest of six children – and I was constantly paranoid that he didn’t know what to do. But looking back I should have allowed him more chances to change nappies, burp baby, bath her and give her massages because after all he is a great dad, it would have given him more bonding time and me more time to relax.
3. Accepted help. I just wanted to do it all myself and I didn’t have too. If I needed help it was a call away. Something that stopped me was being an expat and not having family and friends down the road. For me it wasn’t easy to get help and also trust issues with hiring a nanny. But looking back I should have insisted on having help for at least one month and have someone back home stay with us until I was ready to be on my own.
4. Prepared better. I have a friend who constantly reminds me about how unprepared I was for baby’s arrival. Running around last minute packing bags, getting things sorted like clothing, toiletries and all of that (mind you I had just relocated to a new country). But still when baby came home I wasn’t prepared. There were so many things I hadn’t thought of. My advice would be not to listen to anyone who says you shouldn’t start early, start early and prepare for every possible situation. The last thing you need on top of being overwhelmed about this little human you have to care for is not actually having anything to help you care for them. We wanted to buy as we needed and while this saved us a lot of money it did also cause stressful situations we didn’t need at the beginning.
5. Established a routine. I am sort of blowing hot and cold with this one but I do wish that I established a proper routine at the beginning. While I know that having a child is unpredictable and you have to be so flexible, I do believe that routine keeps you sane even if it’s just your daily walk in the park or bath/bed a certain time. We have absolutely no routine and I just go with the flow. Sometimes it works out perfectly especially when we’re travelling but most days there’s no routine and I never know what to expect. I could probably start now but I do not have the patience for it, I’ve also just gotten us to this lifestyle but that doesn’t mean that I am not silently hoping her sleep pattern improves at night.
6. Scheduled me time. Becoming a mother is definitely the highlight of my life. I can’t imagine my life without my precious child but as a new mum I focused all of my time caring for my little girl and neglected myself. It’s so important to find some time for yourself. Give baby to dad or a family member and just enjoy a little quiet time. These days I make time for me, even if it’s just a few minutes. This does wonders to your mind and body and it just ultimately gives you the energy you need to tackle the rest of the day.
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